My little boy

For those of you who know my family, know of my sweet little Corbin. He is my third child and out of all of my kids has been my biggest struggle to date. I love him. He brings so much to the table everyday and can be the sweetest guy when he wants to be, but can also be the meanest guy when he wants to be. Two night and day differences in the same body, same personality. It's kind of like a Jekyll and Hyde thing that he has going on. I have never been embarrassed by my sweet boy when he is throwing a fit in the middle of the grocery store because I am not alone. Many mothers who go to the store have children that behave like my little guy sometimes. The other day I experienced a little embarrassment. We were at Maverik getting drinks for the boys. Caitlin was at a birthday party and we decided to go to Cabela's to do a little man shopping for Michael. The boys were thirsty, so on our way home we stopped to get drinks. Corbin has an issue that whatever he is thinking of in his mind that he wants and it is not available to him at that very instant, he throws a monster size tantrum. We usually ignore it but this time I watched a man getting a his own beverage stop and stare at Corbin's behavior. He had this look of disgust on his face and I wanted so much to go a smack that guy and tell him to mind his own business. I wanted to crawl in a hole because of the look that was on this guys face. Apparently if he has children they are "little angels" all the time.
Since then, we have been searching for a solution to this problem. My heart breaks because when he behaves this way he is truly unhappy and I don't want him to be unhappy. For years I have just chalked it up to him being "spoiled" because that is usually the case with my kids when the behave this way. We have tried several disciplinary tactics, but they have not been working. Michael and I have had several conversations on this subject and many nights in our couples prayer that we have prayed about what to do. Then on this past Saturday night after Collin's baptism day about 11:30 at night, Michael and I went to Wal Mart because we had forgotten some things we needed for Sunday and had a 1/2 hour to get it before the Sabbath. We decided on our drive that what we have been doing is not working and that we needed to do a complete 180* on how we treated our Corbin. We decided to shower him with love and affection and when he did outburst in anger that we would be very calm and talk to him in a manner that I struggle with because I am used to yelling or getting upset. This process is teaching me patience as well. The result for the week has been amazing. Corbin has been so happy. I mean beyond happy. He comes home from school just beaming and I can really see a change in his personality. He FEELS loved and I guess that he hasn't really felt that in a long time. Now I am not saying that I didn't show him love before our experiment this week. We have always shown him love, but we have mulitplied that by 100 now.
I was a little difficult for my mother as well. Shocking, I know. : ) The best advice she said that she ever got was to just love me and I will eventually feel that love and come out of it. I did. Corbin will too. Until that day when he can truly feel our love for him I will have to be patient and deal with the behavior til then. But like I said, it is getting better. I'm going to cross my fingers until then and keep praying for him because I know that I can never go wrong when I have Heavenly Father on my side. I am also very grateful for Michael for spearheading all of this. He was the first to put our plan into action and showed me that we can have the patience we need to do this. It is so true that each child has a different personality and we cannot treat them as if they are all the same. Corbin has special needs as well as Caitlin, Collin, and Conner and someday we will figure everything out....I hope.....Long post, but sometimes I need to vent. I will post about Collin's baptism soon.....we actually took pictures of this event.

HaLlOwEeN!

I decided that I should do a Halloween post just to let you know that we actually celebrated it this year. Honestly.....I am such a halloween bahhumbugger. I don't know what happened to me along the way in life. I used to like it, but now I just see it as a huge expense with 4 kids. Costumes, candy, decorations, it is just expensive and I don't really see the need for it. (Gasp!..did I just really admit that?? well, it's true so if you don't want to be my friend anymore I would totally understand. : ) )

Here is how we celebrated:

Caitlin was a cute witch. Collin was a construction worker. Corbin was a Doctor. Conner was Ironman. They were all dressed so cute and I went to grab my camera.....I actually remembered it this time....only to my dismay to find it broken by the kids. They had used it one night to have a "photo shoot" ....and I use that term loosely...and they somehow broke it and didn't say anything. I was mad, but what do you do? At least I have an excuse to go get a nicer more updated one. It will have to wait until Christmas.

We went to our ward trunk or treat only it was raining outside so we had it in the church cultural hall. It was very simple and we were in and out in under an hour. Then we traveled to Pleasant Grove to celebrate Halloween and my sister in law Sarah's birthday. We first went to my in laws ward trunk or treat only to be rained on some more and then hurried to their house for some soup and chili. The rain finally stopped and the kids went trick or treating in the neighborhood for about an hour. Let's just say they hauled the candy in! We will be eating halloween candy for a few months. (Since I am in confession.....I hate halloween candy as well. My kids do not need another excuse to eat candy, they get enough already. Needless to say, the candy is now hidden and won't be discovered for a very long time. I'm sure that I will forget about it and I will find it sometime next year.)

We had a great time with family and I am glad that it is over!! Next, Thanksgiving, and I totally LOVE that. I am not being sarcastic at all. I really do love Thanksgiving and Christmas. It just seems more family friendly. ; )

I hope that everyone had a fun Halloween.

Relief!

Those of you who have seen or spent anytime with me over the past 3 months can attest to the fact that I was really going crazy. Don't try to deny it, I have graciously accepted it and so should you. : ) We have just been on such a crazy ride. A good, but crazy ride. We are now moved to Spanish Fork and we are all together again. I feel like we have been led here. That probably sounds crazy as well, but I really don't care. Certain things have happened to us in the past 3 months and if we had not made the decisions that we made, I don't know where we would be. Heavenly Father has a plan for us. I have probably prayed more in the past few months than in the past 5 years. I was really hoping that Heavenly Father would answer my prayers, but I wasn't really expecting them to be answered. Let me explain....I am a firm believer that you make decisions and then pray about them to see if you get a good feeling like it was the right decision. We made the decision to take the job in Utah County and prayed about it and got good feelings, almost like duh, this is a no brainer decision. Ever since that answer came, everything has just been so laid out for us, almost too easy and I have been waiting for something bad to happen because nothing in my life has ever gone this smoothly. I am always expecting some significant answer. Some sort of epiphany that makes me understand "the plan" right then and there. Well, of course that never has happened to me and so I just figured that my prayers are not ever really answered....until now. I never had the epiphany, just had faith that we made the right decision and decided that I was just going to go with the flow and see how things unfolded. The blessings that I have seen have been amazing! I can't go into a lot of detail because this post would be 3 times longer than it is now. I have such a strong testimony of prayer! I was hoping that the whole families prayers were answered so that the kids could experience the love that our Father in Heaven has for each of us and they were! What a great teaching moment for me and the kids!

I am so grateful for my blessings. I especially want to thank ALL of my wonderful Mesquite friends and family. You were so key to helping me keep my life together. So much of an outpouring of love from you made the days better. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!! I will miss you all dearly and I will miss the wonderful Mesquite winter weather. I will however be so very grateful come summer. : ) I haven't met anyone here yet, but had a wonderful unexpected visit from Dave and Sharie Petersen last night. I was feeling a little down in the dumps yesterday and then was overcome with happiness when I saw Dave and Sharie standing outside the front door. Thank you for coming to say Hi. It was so good to see familiar and friendly faces. I know that this is where we are supposed to be and I have learned many lessons and I am still learning more. I am grateful for the tender mercies from my Father in Heaven. Now I get to continue the ride and see what else comes around the corner. Hopefully it will continue to be good. Thanks again and I love you all!!

What did we get ourselves into??

I am sitting here at my parents dining room table updating my blog at 7:50 in the morning because I am trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of what just happened. I just said my goodbye's to my hubby because he started his new job today and I have to travel home with the kids all by myself and try to find peace in being a single mom for a few months. For those of you who don't know, Michael accepted a job up here in Draper UT for Wadsworth construction. For a long time now, he has been working without getting paid on a regular basis. It has taken a toll on our bank account and we have been struggling to make ends meet. We prayed for a way for the situation to be changed and then one day this job fell into our laps. It was an answer to prayers. When we decided to accept the job we prayed about it and immediately things started to fall into place, and the trials began. How are we going to do this? Are we going to live here in dreaded northern Utah? (I hate living in Utah......no offense to my friends and family who live here, I just HATE the weather with a passion) What are we going to do with the house? Should we start the kids in school and then pull them out halfway through? I promised my boss that I would give him 3 months for me to train someone to take over my job, but after this morning, I don't know how long I am going to last. My heart is empty. I feel like the biggest part of me is missing and it has only been about an hour since we said goodbye. I keep thinking that if I stay busy than I won't think about it much, but I don't want to go home. I don't want to walk into our house and have Michael not be there with me. I want to blink my eyes and have it be October so that we can be together as a family again. Anyone that REALLY knows me, knows of my love for Michael. We have been joined at he hip since we were married 11 years ago. We have had many struggles along the 11 years, but he is the most important person to me. I constantly think about him everyday and he is all that is good in my life. Oh, I know that we will talk all the time and we will see each other every couple of weeks, but it is not the same. I keep thinking that I have to be strong for the kids and find my inner independence that I know is in me.......I just don't want to HAVE to. I don't know what the future holds for us. We are just taking it one day at a time. I am going to be spending a lot of time on my knees. I am truly grateful that Michael was able to get a good job and that life can move on for us.

Well, that was my little rant/meltdown. I just want to keep everyone updated on what is happening in our little family. Thank you to our families who have given us support, love, and help. I am most likely going to need a lot of that for the next few months. ; )

My Dad...

Growing up as a child was very happy for me. I had 2 wonderful parents that provided so much for me. I was pretty happy and well adjusted. The only thing that I wished for was that my Dad didn't work so much. I recognized this at a very young age and as the years passed I created my list of what I wanted in a husband and I wanted a husband that would provide for his family, but not a work-a-holic like my Dad.
Many thoughts have been flooding through my mind these days because my Dad is going through a most trying time in his life. He had a bowel obstruction and when they went in to fix it they perforated his bowel in 2 places and didn't catch it until he went into septic shock. He is fighting for his life. I went to see him at the hospital this past weekend and he is looking okay but he has a really long road to recovery. I had a chance to visit with him and he seems in good spirits despite the agonizing pain that he is in. That very same day my cute little brother decided to take us out on his boat for a day of fun. I felt really guilty as we were in the hospital room with my Dad and how he begged us to go boating and have lots of fun while he was stuck in that bed. He told us to go and have fun and report it all the next day when we came to visit. We went and had a tremendous amount of fun but not without some sadness, see, when I was a kid we had a boat and it was so fun for my Dad to take us out on that boat every Saturday during the summer. We had great traditions of pita sandwiches that we would eat for a picnic on the lake. We made sure that we followed the same traditions that we had when I was a kid and let me tell you the pita sandwiches and sour cream and onion pringles never tasted so good! I felt like a kid again.
I love my Dad. He has always been a beacon of light in my life because he has always been there to offer advice and support. He may have been working a lot, but I always knew that my Dad loved/loves me. : )
We came back to see him the next day which happened to be the day that I had to leave and come back to Mesquite, and shared our experience and pictures with him. He smiled from ear to ear because of the happy faces of my kids. He loves them very much. Of course I didn't bring my camera or cell phone to document the fun that was had, but my brother did and I will have to get a copy of those pictures from him to post on here.
I somehow feel that because of the hard work of my Dad, that somehow my life was a little slighted because of his absence in my life at times. In all of this struggle he has finally realized that family is super important and he has decided to retire, as well as my mom, and move here to Mesquite. I now will have the opportunity to enjoy him as much as I can and that we can make up for anytime lost. Please pray for my Dad that his recovery will be swift and that he can get back to his normal self. Thank you so much for reading, and please give your Dad's a big squeeze the next time you see them because life can be so short.

It's Official!

Conner is officially potty trained! WAHOO! It was just so easy, a little too easy, I kept thinking that he is just one day going to give up and want to go back to diapers. I always call it official when the child goes to the bathroom by himself and does his business, all of his business, when he is in there.
Last night Conner pooped a little in his underwear and was freaking out, and then I had him go sit on the potty and he pooped some more and so I am calling him officially potty trained. He does not want us to help him, he just will go in the bathroom and go all by himself. We don't have to remind him and he sleeps all night with no accidents. What a relief! He made it before he turned 3. This has to be the fastest potty training that has ever occurred in our home. He decided that he wanted to wear underwear on Wednesday night and is completely done by Tuesday.
Thank heavens that we no longer have to deal with diapers!!