What did we get ourselves into??

I am sitting here at my parents dining room table updating my blog at 7:50 in the morning because I am trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of what just happened. I just said my goodbye's to my hubby because he started his new job today and I have to travel home with the kids all by myself and try to find peace in being a single mom for a few months. For those of you who don't know, Michael accepted a job up here in Draper UT for Wadsworth construction. For a long time now, he has been working without getting paid on a regular basis. It has taken a toll on our bank account and we have been struggling to make ends meet. We prayed for a way for the situation to be changed and then one day this job fell into our laps. It was an answer to prayers. When we decided to accept the job we prayed about it and immediately things started to fall into place, and the trials began. How are we going to do this? Are we going to live here in dreaded northern Utah? (I hate living in Utah......no offense to my friends and family who live here, I just HATE the weather with a passion) What are we going to do with the house? Should we start the kids in school and then pull them out halfway through? I promised my boss that I would give him 3 months for me to train someone to take over my job, but after this morning, I don't know how long I am going to last. My heart is empty. I feel like the biggest part of me is missing and it has only been about an hour since we said goodbye. I keep thinking that if I stay busy than I won't think about it much, but I don't want to go home. I don't want to walk into our house and have Michael not be there with me. I want to blink my eyes and have it be October so that we can be together as a family again. Anyone that REALLY knows me, knows of my love for Michael. We have been joined at he hip since we were married 11 years ago. We have had many struggles along the 11 years, but he is the most important person to me. I constantly think about him everyday and he is all that is good in my life. Oh, I know that we will talk all the time and we will see each other every couple of weeks, but it is not the same. I keep thinking that I have to be strong for the kids and find my inner independence that I know is in me.......I just don't want to HAVE to. I don't know what the future holds for us. We are just taking it one day at a time. I am going to be spending a lot of time on my knees. I am truly grateful that Michael was able to get a good job and that life can move on for us.

Well, that was my little rant/meltdown. I just want to keep everyone updated on what is happening in our little family. Thank you to our families who have given us support, love, and help. I am most likely going to need a lot of that for the next few months. ; )